how utterly perfect for me!!!

Get Your Sexy Name

that is all.

And, I have bad knees and joint pains. And, for the past couple of years I was wondering if a doctor would tell me that I can't do what I want in my life b/c of my knees. I never thought that my jaw would be what made me consider a new path...

It hurts so bad, and I honestly don't know how I can continue in food w/ my jaw the way it is. It hurts so much I don't think it's possible for me to be a chef let alone a food critic w/ the pain. how can I make or judge food that I'm not allowed to eat? What am I supposed to do now?

mood: devestated

My great-grandmother is awesome. her health has gone from bad to worse, and somehow now it's improving rapidly. She's in her late 80's. She weighs about 85 pounds, but looks the best i've seen her look in years and is beginning to gain weight again, and isn't on a restricted diet. I know she's lived a long life, and she's not only my great grandmother, but at the rate things are going, she will become a great-great grandmother before her lifetime is through. She is one amazing woman and she still has a great sense of humor. She turned 80 and soon afterward said, "I went to the doctor the other day and he said I should start drinking 'Ensure.' And after he said that, I said to myself, 'Well, Leola, you must be old now.' Because everyone knows that 'Ensure' is for old people." She was 80 years old, and THAT is what told her, "Now I'm old." lol. Other classics my family likes to reminisce about are; (after buying her new house and beginning to convert a former wet bar into a closet) "Yes, that's where the doors used to be, but I closed off the bar and opened it up into my room. You know, because I like to do my drinking in private." And of course there's the ever popular "OH. Naked people, that's what we like to see." while flipping channels on the t.v.

mood: cheerful

What is wrong w/ me? I haven't had romance in a very long time. I miss it. But, I seem to have a very hard time saying no to certain things. I love them, and there's nothing wrong w/ having a healthy sex life when you're not seeing anyone -- at least I don't thing so. But, why can't I seem to grab hold of some romance in there somewhere too? It seems like I can have the romance and mystery of a new possibility of a relationship, or I can have the extreme sexuality that I also crave and possibly a very shallow relationship, but not both. What is so wrong w/ the world that men cannot respect a woman with a sex drive like mine, friends tell me I'm not a slut, but if that's the case, then why doesn't anyone ever ask me on a date? I just want some romance. I don't want to give up the sex, Can't I just sprinkle in a little bit of romance.

I'm gonna be OK.




That is all I have to say. :)

mood: content

He broke up with me. I miss him so much. I still love him and I just want him to take me back. He says it may not be permanent, but how am I supposed to live not knowing if I'll ever be able to even hold him again? I'll live, don't worry. I just prefer to live with him than without. Besides, as I like to say, I'm too Catholic to kill myself. I don't know if there will ever be anyone else for me. Maybe, once he makes his decision, if he doesn't want me anymore, then maybe I'll become a nun. I don't know that I could love like this again. It hurts so bad when it's over....

mood: super sad

Hey guys! So, classes started a few days ago, and now I'm back to having internet almost every day, so, talk to me! I've missed you guys!

Hello, my dear ones, as I like to fondly call those of you that I not only read on my friends page, but those of you who actually read what I write. I want to show some appreciation for the love you show me. Now, I also have to ask forgiveness for my lack of posting and for future forgiveness for the same thing. I recently moved to Denver, that's right, I am now a resident of Colorado. I also do not have internet in my small, yet large enough for me, apt, and have to drive down to JWU in order to get some WiFi. So, I love you guys dearly, please send me emails and the like. MWAH!

Yeah, I just sold my $120 Math book back, and I got a grand total of, Drum roll Please!!.........................................................................
.................................................................................
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$5!!


yeah, it was a bit disappointing when I found out too....

I want $1000 Casch Munny!

Why is it, that the monthly payments are completely affordable, but the initial payment is like, twice what you'll pay? Isn't it ridiculous? Well, you have like ten things to pay for, and you can afford the monthly payments on them, but your initial payments are going to be double, is that ok? and of course you have to say yes, and then stretch your income as much as possible, and your boyfriend still wants to go out to dinner and stuff and you end up spending $120 over the past month b/c HE'S broke too, but doesn't realize that you can't pay for EVERYTHING! *sigh* and no, he's not a deadbeat, i promise.

Why you might ask? well, I will tell you. I got a free TOASTER!!! YEAH TOAST!!

Is it too much to ask to be treated equally? I got an extra day off of work to help Eric w/ Chassa. I made sure to do that a week ago. I told him a MONTH ago about getting off to take me looking at apartments, and he STILL hasn't done anything about it. He's running out of time. *sigh* oh well. And, I have a big section of time that is very delicate in planning, and I'm trying to get things together as soon as possible, and he STILL refuses to talk to anyone about it for another two weeks. Such an extensive period needs a lot of planning and a lot of discussion w/ people other than me. Am I not having a hard enough time getting everything together w/o him? oh well.

So, last night, I tried this journaling thing. I was somewhat resistant, but I picked it up last night and ended up writing over three pages. I was surprised and I felt a lot better afterward. I guess it turns out that this woman knows what she's talking about.

So, I've decided that it is unhealthy for me to be getting so little sleep, and getting so little work done for my classes, and having nightmares about being late to class and unprepared.... My stress level is too high.


*EDIT* Talked to Chef DeVault. He told me I needed to go to bed, and he would make sure I got a WP. He reassured me that He didn't take it personally, and that he was there if I ever need someone to talk to. I feel so bad about dropping, but crying to your chef at 6 am about nightmares of class and talking to yourself the entire way there, and the entire way back.... yeah, bad signs.

so, some guy on myspace that I've never met, told me that he wanted to invite me to this party in Ft. Collins and was really looking forward to meeting me there... This guy didn't have any of the signs of being a myspace porn star or anything, so I'm guessing he was genuinely interested, or he's a myspace predator, or he's just propositioning girls on myspace that he thinks are pretty.... am I pretty enough for that last one to be true? either way, I'm not interested, I don't want to go to a party w/ people from C U Boulder in Ft. Collins that I've never met before, ESPECIALLY w/o Eric.

sorry I haven't been posting much, I'm in class for twelve hours a day, and then I work on the weekends, so by the time I have time to post or anything, I just kinda, am exhausted. I just have to tough it out for another week and a half, and then I'll be back to afternoon classes, and work on the weekends instead of all day every day. Don't worry, I love you guys!!!